How to Retain Great People: The Leadership Skill That Starts with Paying Attention
A few years ago, one of my team members walked into a meeting with a look on her face I couldn’t ignore. Something was off. It wasn’t anything she said out loud, but as a leader, I’ve learned to notice those moments. The pauses, the shift in energy, the way someone checks out emotionally even while physically present.
And here’s the truth: most people won’t tell you what’s bothering them. They won’t raise their hand and say, “Hey, I’m not okay.” They’ll stay quiet. They’ll keep working. And if you’re not paying attention, they’ll eventually leave.
That day, I asked my team member to stick around after the meeting for a quick one-on-one. I didn’t come in with a list of answers. I came in with questions. And what followed was a flood of honest feedback. She talked about how our systems weren’t working well, how candidate searches weren’t yielding the right results, and how the team dynamic had started to slip. None of this had surfaced in our group meetings, emails, or Slack threads. It only came out because I noticed something was wrong and created space for her to share it.
When the conversation ended, she felt lighter. And so did I. I walked away with a clearer view of what was happening inside my own team, by paying attention and asking the right questions.
If you’re serious about retention (every leader should be), this story holds a few lessons worth remembering. Here are three best practices to help you retain your best people.
1. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues
Your people won’t always say what they’re thinking, but they’ll show it. Through body language, disengagement, tone, and behavior. Are they unusually quiet in meetings? Less responsive over email? Skipping social events or team check-ins? These cues may be subtle, but they’re not insignificant.
Train yourself to notice the quiet indicators. When someone is off, don’t wait for them to come to you. Go to them. Your job as a leader isn’t just to run the department. It’s to read the room.
2. Don’t Skip Your One-on-Ones
One-on-ones are your most valuable tool for retention. Not performance reviews. Not all-hands meetings. One-on-ones.
These meetings are where you build trust. Where you check in - not just on goals and metrics, but on how your team is actually doing. I’ve led weekly one-on-ones for years, and I can tell you they are worth every minute. The consistency of that time gives people a safe space to talk about what’s working and what isn’t.
Canceling or postponing one-on-ones sends a message, whether you mean it or not: “You’re not a priority right now.” Don’t let that be the message. Keep the meeting. Protect the time. Use it wisely.
3. Ask Questions Before You Make Assumptions
The quality of the information you get is directly related to the quality of the questions you ask.
Try these in your next one-on-one:
What’s working well for you right now?
What’s frustrating or slowing you down?
What are you enjoying most about your role?
What are you enjoying least?
How connected do you feel to your teammates?
How’s your work-life balance these days?
These aren’t just “HR” questions. They’re retention questions. They tell your people, “I see you. I care how you’re doing. And I want to help.”
The Bottom Line
Retention doesn’t come down to flashy perks or ping-pong tables. It comes down to whether people feel seen, heard, and supported. Most people want to stay. But they’ll only stay if someone is paying attention.
Leadership isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about asking the right questions and being willing to listen. Do that well, and you’ll not only keep your best people. You’ll bring out the best in them.
